Career or Babies?

Firstly… HI EVERYONE!

Wowzers what a semester! I honestly thought I would be able to commit to my “one blog post a week” pledge (boy was I wrong πŸ˜‚). This semester absolutely smashed me and I have so many half written blog posts it’s literally a joke. But I’m back and although I am seriously behind on my lesson planning (student teaching FTW πŸ’•) this particular post has been tumbling around in my head for a while now and I given the mass of feminist media I’ve seen floating around of late I thought I’d add to the noise and put my two-cents worth out there…

As I’m sure many women before me have come to realise, there comes a time in (almost) every young ladies life where you’ll wake up one day and BAM! BABIES EVERYWHERE!!! For me this day came around a few months ago now, and ever since my little feminist soul has been beating that prehistoric motherly instinct down – and for the most part it’s working.

Here’s a list of the things I’ve been telling myself;

  1. You can’t finish Uni and have a baby – you’ll go crazy
  2. You can’t have a baby and start you’re career at the same time – you’ll go crazy
  3. Scott has sacrificed a lot of things to help put you through Uni and he deserves to treat himself (buy a fancy ass boat) before having to support me AND a baby again (lets face it if I have a baby now I’m not going to have time to work up any maternity leave).
  4. I want to travel the world
  5. I don’t want to have kids too early and end up as one of those mothers who resents her children for stealing her youth (based on true events)

I think that list is pretty fair. It’s reasonable, takes into account the feelings of both Scott and myself and it doesn’t write off children all together – just delays them. Clearly I’m pro career ❀

But it got me thinking if I wanted to have a baby right now… why the heckers does that mean I can’t have a career?

If I wanted to have a baby why does that mean that I’d have to give up my dreams?

Why can men successfully juggle their careers and parenthood, but when a woman tries to do it it’s still considered mind blowingly shocking! THIS ISN’T THE 1920s!!!

This led me into my next thought which was how masculine our society is. Everything from our surnames (we traditionally take our fathers last name) to a deck of a cards (Kings are worth more than Queens) portray this image of men as the dominant sex.

This isn’t any different in the education industry. The majority of Australian principals are male – and if you are a female principal or deputy principal it is assumed that you must have stepped on people to get to the position you’re in (aka. You must be a proper B.I.T.C.H) Side note: when a woman is bossy and straight up she’s a bitch, but when a man does the same he’s professional and explicit – my goodness gracious, how ridiculous! (fyi. It was a FEMALE teacher that told me that for any female teacher to rise up she must step on her colleagues – classic example of how we, as women are hurting the feminist cause! )

But the worst thing about our society is how much women hate on other women. Β If we want to move forward as an equal society we need to realise that there is a difference between critique and bullying. For example I can critique Kim K’s promotion of appetite suppressing lollipops because I think it is an extremely detrimental image for her to be portraying to her millions of young, impressionable followers. On the other hand, all you need to do is browse Kim K’s social media and you’ll find countless examples of women hating on her because she’s “fake” or “stupid” or “ugly” – this is clear cut bullying. I’m not a Kardashian fan – but I am a feminist – and my strongest feminist belief is that we need to stick together. We will never be equal with men if we continue to put each other down. Odds are, those people writing nasty comments have never met, spoken to or even laid their own eyes on Kim. K – and even if they have – I’d bet my life’s savings that they’re not perfect πŸ‘Š. If Kim wants to get butt injections and dance naked and get paid in candy – then I say you go girl! You do you boo (yes another MAF reference, #DavinaFTW) . That goes for all women – and perfectly leads into my next point…

Why should women have to change the way we look, or dress a certain way, not only to be accepted (duck that) but to be safe!! Lisa Wilkinson, from The Project, did a very compelling piece on the inequalities that exist in our society when it comes to victims of crime. Although it feels a lot like propaganda and has a lot of examples of sexism against males, it does bring to light the different ways the media portrays victims of violent attacks… “When a man is attacked it’s all about the attacker (coward punch scenario) but when a woman is attacked it is all about the victim (why was she there? Why didn’t she take steps to protect herself etc.). This all comes back to men being the dominant sex. Men are viewed as powerful, women are vulnerable. Men are strong, women are weak. Men are safe, women need to be protected.

Biologically, men are stronger than women (they’ve got more testosterone – it’s just the way it is) – but in a society run by keyboards and intellect, not swords and strength – do men really have the upper hand? The world is changing and it’s my hope that in the future questions such as the one I pondered at the very start of this post will become a non-issue. Women won’t need to question whether they should pursue a career or start a family – they can just do as they please without the fear of being left behind by professionally.

Wow … that got a bit ranty… but this is such a deep issue, and it’s really difficult to know when to stop. I’d love to hear everyone else’s thoughts so if you have a conflicting opinion or different takes on anything I’ve written about please don’t hesitate to drop me a line in the comments!

Have a beautiful day!

Namaste xx

 

Post Script: How Kim K portrays herself on social media and the effect this has on the feminist movement – I think we can all agree – isn’t great. I’m using her in this context to make a point, not because I think she is a good role model for young women!

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